Most of you know I hope to have a large, multi-cultural family one day through the joy of adoption. There is something so beautiful and amazing about taking a child in as your own, just as God has chosen to make us sons and daughters.
Well this week, "option adoption" has become more and more appealing to me, mostly because option "push a baby out your hoo-ha" has become more frightening and disturbing.
I don't care what any of you have to say about child birth being so "natural" and wonderful, there is nothing natural or wonderful about a 10lb 3oz baby coming out of you know where. That's how big the baby I delivered today was and no, she did not have an epidural. I wondered why it was taking so long (this was her third) until I saw the head of that baby. When we weighed the baby I looked over at mom, held up both hands and said "diez!" She looked at me and said "DIEZ?!" and then promptly dropped her head back down into the bed and gave me a "no wonder I thought I was going to die" look.
And let's not forget about the alternative, option "rip your baby straight out through your abdomen." Even if childbirth is natural, having your uterus ON TOP of your abdomen, is not. Your internal organs should never be on the outside of your body. Ever.
One more thing and then I will end my freak out session on childbirth.
No matter how beautiful or cute a baby is going to be in a few days, it will always come out looking like an alien. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Unless it belongs to you and you are blinded by your overwhelming and unconditional love, you know it looks like an alien. A slimy, cone-headed, still attached to grossness alien.
I think I'll take mine clean with a nice round head, and hopefully with none of that weird left-over cord nastiness still attached to their belly buttons.
PS Brandon Rogers says I don't update my blog enough to make it onto his blog list. I say that is trash. I just wanted everyone to be aware.
6 comments:
Shenanigans!!
you've been on my blog for a whole five minutes (*said with a sheepish grin*)
I was just giving you a hard time.
Except for the part where we would like to be updated more than every other month as to what is going on in your life!! (like everyone else who has been begging you to write more...)
p.s. - you said "hoo-ha"
that's classic
oh dang...
...it keeps going...
...uterus on your abdomen?
I am so glad I am a male.
while birth may be terrifying and painful, i feel like my monthly period would be in VAIN if i don't ever spawn. (and i know, that's not something a human actually does, i just like the word...)
but you know? all those really, really, really bad days. and all that crippling pain that makes me throw up...and NO BABY?
no.
hey if you can say uterus, i can talk about this too.
Haha. I need to start writing more just for the comments. You guys crack me up.
you win. I updated. granted it's mildly lame... but the better stuff is coming asap.
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