Number One... I have a problem with tweezers. No seriously, it's bad.
It's my eyebrows.
I just can't not tweeze them.
I have to.
Everyday.
Someone once suggested that I get them waxed. The THOUGHT alone of letting my eyebrows get unruly enough to wax makes me sick. I can't handle that.
It's not just my eyebrows either, it's everyone's. It's probably the first thing I notice when I look at someone. I have to fight the urge not to go up to strangers and ask them if I can fix their eyebrows.
Two summers ago I was getting on the plane to come back from Kenya with my carry-on. As my backpack went through the X-ray I got "the look." "The look" is really bad in a foreign country. The not-so-nice lady looked at me and said, "do you have tweezers in your backpack?"
I panicked.
I lied. "Ummm no, no I don't think so, it must be some other metal object shaped like tweezers?"
Right.
It took them all of 2 seconds to rip open my bag and hand me the tweezers. "We don't allow these on the plane."
Then I am pointed to the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. A huge plastic box filled with tweezers and fingernail clippers.
I see the slit in the top.
I know what I have to do.
I took a moment.
Those were my favorite pair of tweezers.
I had to fight back the tears as I walked away, leaving them in tweezer hell with all those other tweezers.
Ok enough. Now that you all know I'm psycho, you might want to hide your eyebrows. I once tweezed and entire wedding party the night before the big day. I'm obsessed with perfect eyebrows. Those of you who think you have naturally shapely eyebrows, think again. They don't exist.
Number two... I hate breakfast.
I have no idea what it is with you people and breakfast. When I get up in the morning, I'm hungry - I don't want a piece of half-burnt bread. I don't want some sugary cereal that's going to leave me hungry again in an hour. I need protein. I used to be able to eat eggs in the morning, key words there: used to.
Last Christmas we went on a cruise and I mistakenly ordered eggs for breakfast one morning. Let me just say that food-poisoning + sea-sickness is a really bad combination. I won't be eating eggs again for a long time.
So what do I eat?
Whatever I want.
Pizza, a sandwich, peanut butter crackers if I'm in a hurry, whatever.
That really grosses a lot of people out, but why should it matter what time of day it is? Why is it ok to eat Taco Bell at 11 and not at 9? And at what minute that does rule suddenly change? I've never understood this.
Number three... I read all of the LH blogs religiously.
If you go to LH and you have a blog, chances are I'm the first person to read your new posts. I am so serious. I don't even know a good portion of the people whose blogs I read. If you are linked from the Hendricks blog, I have read your blog.
Bacaks? How did I not know these people when I was in College Station? My youth minister growing up is one of the elders at Ecclesia. In highschool I helped remodel the Taft building. I've even read one of Chris' books. And then I find out randomly that they have this incredible sister who goes to Living Hope? How random.
So now when I go to Ecclesia and I see Chris and Robby I can say, "so what do you think of Jenn and Rusty's new foster child?" and they'll say, "oh you know my sister?" and I'll say, "no, I just read her blog."
Number four... I have a gecko.
His name is Scott.
I bought him on a whim in MIDDLE SCHOOL.
I swear these things live forever.
He eats live worms. Yes Heather, I keep live worms in my house.
Meet Scott.
And finally, number five... I LOVE fireworks.
Or anything else that blows up, really.
In highschool, we used to have fireworks wars.
Ever launched a bottle rocket at someone through a PVC pipe? I have.
My favorite fireworks though, only blow up when defective.
They are the chickens.
I have no earthly idea why I think these are so funny, but I do. They lay fire eggs and then make this awful screeching noise. The thing that gets me though, is sometimes they are defective and they explode, catch on fire, or go flying away. I think maybe I just like the mystery of what will happen after they poop out all of their eggs.
Ok that is all. I would tag 5 people, but I'm pretty sure everyone I know has already been tagged. If you somehow come across this and you have not been tagged, tag yourself. You know you want to.
